The Waiting Room
For those eager-eyed amongst you on Substack Notes, you may already have noticed me discussing this topic this week. Don’t worry, I’ve got more ramblings to scratch out of my brain and down onto paper. For those who didn’t see what I discussed earlier this week on notes, you should check the platform out! Not only for me but also for the brilliant Substack writers you can interact with every day. It’s one of the kindest, welcoming, thoughtful places I’ve stumbled across on the internet and it’s an honour to be there.
If you don’t feel like joining notes right now, that’s ok! You could always add it to your waiting room.
The Tasks of Life
If we still wrote using scrolls and quills, imagine the length of scrolls you’d create for your list of daily tasks and events. Do you imagine a long scroll that never seemingly decreases in size as we flow through the days? Me too.
Often when we’re pursuing and cultivating what we deem is a productive system, we can easily get overwhelmed, drowning in the pursuit of greater growth. One task gets ticked off, and another takes its place. As days, weeks, and months fly past us, it may seem productive at the moment, but our chaotic brains have us rushing through life, neglecting the present. How can we be fully present while still also pursuing our goals and dreams? Thanks to Sahil Bloom, I have some thoughts.
“The Waiting Room Is Always Full”
As I listened to Sahil Bloom’s podcast, The Curiosity Chronicle” this week, he discussed the concept of our waiting rooms always being full. There’s always something to do in life, people to meet, or new things to try. If it’s never-ending, how can we ever remove ourselves from the waiting room?
To separate ourselves from our life’s waiting room, I had a thought. What if we could structure our lives so that we understand our waiting room is full, but we can split our waiting room into sub rooms? Smaller waiting rooms that are still full but apply to a specific area of our lives. Like a hospital. If you’ve got coronary issues, you won’t sit in the same waiting room as those with digestive problems.
The magic of a waiting sub-room is that it can tap into the different versions of ourselves. I don’t mean we change for different people or situations, but you can tap into versions of yourself that demonstrate certain characteristics. If you want to smash your morning routine, you could be incredibly disciplined. This could mean you close off your more sociable tendencies.
If you’re with people, you could tap into your more social and caring side. With our sub-waiting rooms, we could tap into the side of ourselves that is growth-driven and wants to hit goals. We can then monitor our energy levels. If, eventually, we get worn out, we might need to close our growth-pursuit waiting room for a while and open the fun, spontaneous waiting room.
Some tasks are energy-creating, some energy-neutral, and some energy-draining, as Sahil also discusses. Take note of specific tasks and attribute one of the three energy characteristics to them. Sometimes, we have to complete energy-draining tasks. But, afterwards, close off the specific waiting room for a bit longer to allow for rest and recuperation. Energy is finite. If we put a large burst of energy into our tasks, we sometimes have to rest to convert it back into personal energy for later.
This gives us more control over how we respond to our life tasks. Sometimes we can’t control what needs to be done. But, if something gets too much, even though the sub-room is full, it’s not going anywhere. Close the door and come back to it when you feel better equipped to tackle it. It doesn’t have to be right now. We need to cut ourselves some slack, or our plates overflow and we very easily can get stranded in a state of paralysis, as Sam Green discusses in his recent piece. His piece inspired mine, so head over and give his brilliant piece a read before heading back here!
Non-Negotiables
What of the things we have to do every day? What of our non-negotiable sub rooms? To a certain extent, we can control this too.
Now in currently cooking myself a lovely baguette of garlic bread…which I’ve burnt. But it’s ok. I’m going to eat it nonetheless because I have to, and we don’t like waste. It’s a non-negotiable of life that we have to eat, drink, and earn money somehow, among other things. This waiting room always has to be open.
However, in our pursuit of anything productive, we can choose our non-negotiables. This is also heavily connected to whether we focus externally or internally in the pursuit of our goals.
It’s easy to focus on metrics likes, comments, and shares when it comes to online content. For other pursuits, consider what the external and internal growth factors are. When we first start, it’s easy to focus on our internal motivations. When I was writing to zero subscribers for months, I was enjoying learning more and working on what I wanted. Over time, this naturally fades as we feel pressure from the tribe. I discuss writing because it’s what I have experience in, but transition this to aspects of your own life. Perhaps you work your way up to a promotion at work and with more responsibility you could perform at a lower level trying to please your growing team.
If we want to focus less on these external factors, we ultimately do need to accept and be willing to have everyone leave or lose what we have. Everything has an end. Our internal motivations should outshine our need for external gratification from those around us. If not, a reassessment of priorities may be needed.
Concluding Remarks
When it comes to non-negotiables: choose them wisely! But the choice is with you.
If you feel yourself getting too stretched or paralysed, flashback to a day when you did this just for you. Maybe you won’t even have to close a waiting room or sub-waiting room.
Sometimes in life, it can be you there in an empty room, surrounded by countless doors.
The world’s your oyster. Choose your door.