The Stories
I’ve been thinking a lot about how we justify to ourselves certain aspects of our lives. How we spend our time, and how societal norms, expectations and narratives play into this.
It’s common to align our lives based on what is expected of us by society, or what is deemed “acceptable”. Nobody ever made a change by doing what’s “acceptable”, and some don’t ever want to make a change, and that’s ok! Just “being” is enough for us all.
For those of us who do want to leave some mark, who want to leave this place better than we found it, it’s in our best interests to reject these expectations. There is a perceived narrative that success is represented by bigger jobs, cars, houses, and possessions. These aspects of life if focused on too intensely are distractions from things that truly matter, deep relationships, fulfilment, and connection to our environments, among other things that are important to you and bring contentment.
Everyone is the main character in their own story but is also the narrator. A narrator with the ability to write the story as it is being experienced. Imagine yourself a year from now. What does your life look like? Where are you? Who with?
Now, how can you create this vision in one year without considering any other narrators in your life? What habits and tasks could enable you to reach this vision? This might not take you a year. Hell, you might never reach the vision. But by repeating habits and tasks every day, we’re heading in the direction of becoming better versions of ourselves.
Narratives can help us make sense of the world, but many of these narratives keep us in a system. If you want to get out of what is accepted as normal, you have to be a part of a new narrative.
As I listened to an edition of the Tim Ferriss Podcast, his guest described the idea of novelty. The idea is trying something new and unique can allow someone to stand out from the crowd. Just like if you go to a football match (I’ll allow soccer if you’re from the US of A), if the home team wears a red kit, and someone is wearing the opposition’s blue shirt in a crowd of reds, they quite easily stand out. This is bad at a football game, but often a good thing in life.
Naturally, when a technological innovation occurs, it challenges existing solutions. As demand grows for the new tech, costs fall, and its competitiveness rises, until it replaces the technology of yesterday. This also pairs itself with problem-solving. Most innovations come from a problem somebody has, that they wish to solve. Think about problems in your personal life. How could you solve them? If the means to solve the problem don’t currently exist, it’s a potential area for further exploration, and a way to make the world a better place than it is.
The final piece of this puzzle is the pursuit of personal growth. If we push ourselves to be better than ourselves from yesterday, we often find ourselves trying new things. This often finds us rather distanced from societal norms and narratives as we get rather skilled at approaching our fear. It’s scary, but we understand that trying new things will lead to what I call good discomfort. It’s the same concept as Seneca’s “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” Prior to anything, reframe fear as a good thing. Afterwards, with hindsight, you’ll often realise the fear was actually our brains attempting to convince us to stay with the crowd. To not try new things. To stick to societal expectations and the narrative of the masses.
It’s not all novelty. The pursuit of something different and new doesn’t guarantee success. There is also execution, timing, current alternative solutions to a problem, and a lot of luck involved. There are some ways we can increase our odds of success, however.
How can we increase our luck surface area? More on this next week.