The Rebirth
Introduction
Like a butterfly reborn from a cocoon, once we make a change in life, how can we be reborn from it?
Upon making some changes, we can become more in touch with ourselves. Make a positive change, and you’ll see this aligns with your values. It can bring new situations, fresh perspectives, and a renewed sense of purpose.
How else can we take advantage of a big change?
Embrace Change – It’s easy to be stubborn about change. I know because it used to be me. I said I loved my life just as it was, which I did. But I was denying myself new experiences and hiding behind my own anxiety and introverted nature. I was comfortable. It took many years of self-reflection and studying, especially some aspects of stoicism, that enabled me to view change differently. Every opportunity for change is an opportunity to learn and grow about others, but more importantly, about us. I don’t know about you, but I’m always finding out new things about myself. Who knew I didn’t dislike pickles as much as I previously thought I did? Me, I knew, because they’re disgusting. But one day, I’ll try pickles again. It’s about being open to the opportunity for change, as I discussed in my piece on spontaneity.
Re-Evaluate Goals – We have goals that occur over different timeframes. Firstly, are your daily goals contributing to progress in your weekly and monthly goals? Are your weekly goals contributing to your yearly goals? What are your dreams in life? If you compound the years, will you get to where you want to be? Do you even truly want the rewards of your dreams, or have you convinced yourself that’s what you want based on societal norms or expectations of others?
Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash Positive Habit Engagement – Are you setting habits that are too big of a mountain to climb? I’m susceptible to this, and it leads to habit fatigue. If you want to start exercising more and set yourself the goal of running a marathon every day, are you going to motivate yourself to get off the couch and run? If you’re incredibly motivated, perhaps. But it’s easier to motivate yourself to run around the estate where you live. Habits need a certain trigger to get us started. Once we start, we often find we want to carry on. A run around your local area could turn into a marathon if you love it so much!
Always Learn – There’s so much to learn about the world and the people in it. That’s why I write the two newsletters I do. Geopolitics Explained is my exploration into the world and Something Greater is me learning how people tick, specifically myself. I’ve found out things about the world and myself that I never would have if I hadn’t started writing. And learning doesn’t have to be writing. Perhaps you listen to a podcast and make notes, or read a book again and again until its content sinks in. Upon learning something for the first time, we’re bound to forget a large amount of what we learn. But over time, the compounding can make a huge difference.
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash Reflect Regularly – Many of us bumble our way through life without thinking about the situations we find ourselves in, especially those that make us unhappy. Happiness is constructed of three characteristics: genetics, environment, and experiences. We can’t control our genetics so let’s cast that aside. No point dwelling on what we can’t control. We can, however, control our environment and experiences. Reflect on the environments where you spend the most time. Sat inside all day? It’s unbelievably powerful to even get outside for a short walk in the sun. Unhappy with your current experiences? It could be time to consider and embrace change.
Manage and Measure Risk – With any situation comes risk. Luckily, in any situation, I consider it a worthwhile exercise to consider the potential upsides and downsides and then limit the downsides.
For example, in investing, say you buy a stock. The potential downside of that stock is 100% in the scenario where that stock falls to $0.
We can limit the potential downside by placing a stop loss, which will close our investment at a specific price. We could also use options to hedge our position.
Take a bell-shaped curve of a normal distribution. Every single scenario in any situation you find yourself in could be plotted on this curve.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/normal-distribution.html In most situations, we fall to the average, designated as the “Meets Expectations” section. Sometimes, we overperform or underperform. When considering downside risk, it’s the underperformance section we need to consider. A 100% loss of our investment would place us on the far-left side of the curve. But if we place a stop loss, we place a straight line on our bell curve that blocks our losses from moving past that point.
Gratitude – This is a huge one for me. Showing graciousness every day for even the smallest of things boosts our mood. It could be that the sun is shining, or you smiled at someone, or you petted a dog! Anything that you’re grateful for today. Reflecting on these events can maintain our moods for longer. If we moan, our negativity surrounds us and drags us down. Cut through the negativity with some gratitude.
The Obstacle Is The Way – Ryan Holiday’s popular book on stoicism details the obstacle is the way. We can come across problems, or difficult situations, and find ourselves numbed. We take no action and remain stationary. Our attitudes and perceptions towards these problems are something we can control in our lives. If we tackle our problems head-on, we learn from these experiences. Next time we encounter a similar problem, we have a method or framework we can use. Show courage and strength in tackling your problems, and you’ll grow in strength over time.
Adaptability – When change comes our way, whether naturally or self-imposed, do you hop along for the ride to see where it takes you, or do you refuse to get your ticket punched? Especially when limiting downside risk, and embracing any opportunity to learn, what do you have to lose?
Photo by Matt Bowden on Unsplash
Concluding Remarks
Life happens for us, not to us. It’s up to us to make the best of these situations we find ourselves in, and that includes ones of dramatic change. This is easier said than done. But those who have made it through tough situations often state they wish to focus on the positives and the person it made them today. Without bad situations, we wouldn’t have a chance at rebirth.
We can reflect as often as possible, but sometimes there are things we can’t know about ourselves. By making changes, and emerging into a period of rebirth, we create lives more authentic and aligned with our deepest values and aspirations. It’s through this that we learn more about ourselves.
Sources:
https://www.simplypsychology.org/normal-distribution.html
https://www.investopedia.com/terms/d/downside.asp#:~:text=Professional%20investors%20limit%20their%20downside,capped%20and%20is%20theoretically%20infinite.
https://www.burohappold.com/podcasts/how-to-design-in-happiness/