The Loss of The Central Piece
How To Keep On Keeping On
When you lose that central piece of your life, what can you rebuild around? If you’re navigating without a compass, how do you stop spinning in circles?
This central piece is something profoundly important to us. It determines our routine, and purpose, and is our reason to get out of bed every day. Losing this piece can be confusing, disorienting, and unsettling.
Is there a way to move past this? How do we keep on keeping on, when our reason to is no longer there?
Losing A Central Piece
This loss could be a relationship, a career, a pet, or a family member. It could be anything. The important thing is that this piece is the central piece in your life jigsaw. Without it, the jigsaw isn’t complete. Without it, there’s a god-shaped hole in your life.
The emptiness is tough to navigate. We can lash out at others. We can feel angry, hurt, and confused. The issue is that these situations are unexplainable. The phrase, “everything happens for a reason”, feels cruel. It can fill us with rage. How can losing the one shining light in your life occur for a reason? If it makes us stronger, why do I need to be stronger? I’d much prefer to be weak and still have the central portion of my life.
The difficulty then comes to reflecting on the past, and the future. We’re reminded with flashes of memories every day. Looking forward, we don’t know who we are without this aspect of our life. The loss, coupled with this immense personal confusion and period of change incites fear. It’s fear of the unknown.
Finding A New Jigsaw Piece
Do we start the search for a new piece to fit in our jigsaw? This can involve a lot of trial and error, forcing pieces into a jigsaw that are never going to fit. Part of rebuilding is seeking to organise the shatters that remain.
We have the ability to adapt to change in life. It’s more difficult when this comes from the loss of our central piece in life, especially when it’s an unexpected loss. The first, most important element of this is to give yourself time. It’s likely a situation you’ve never found yourself in before. So take time to understand your new reality, and how this makes you feel. Why do you feel this way and do you know of any potential solutions to limit the negative feelings you’re experiencing? It can be helpful to talk to those you trust around you. Having someone to listen can help us process our one thoughts and feelings individually without any input from the opposite party.
If an opportunity to transform our identity arises, but we never wanted that opportunity in the first place, should we still take it? We can resist this change because it’s forced upon us. Many of us choose to change aspects of our lives that are negative or hurt us. Our central piece is never this. It brings us joy and purpose. This opportunity is nothing of the sort. It feels like a burden, not an opportunity.
How can we even begin to accept this burden? It’s easy to want to reject it and cast it aside. To dig under the covers. The warmth of the covers feels comforting. But it’s this that leaves us more frustrated. We stagnate and remain motionless. As difficult as it is, the burden is likely what we need. What do we gain by resisting this unfortunate new path? What do we lose if we remain rooted in place?
Can we dig under the rubble and find hope in loss? If we want to. We control very little in our lives, but our responses, decisions, and actions are elements we can control.
The hardest part is that no matter how much we talk with others, we have to choose this search for a slighter of hope ourselves. The only person who can choose to find a new jigsaw piece is you. It won’t be easy, and you’ll fail frequently. But, mistakes are a good thing. It’s how we learn. With small steps and the odd mistake, we can start to move forward once again. You’ll experience setbacks, sure, but if you still have hope that there’s potential for tomorrow to be better than today, then you’re on the right path.
Reluctantly moving forward with this change doesn’t mean you’re rejecting who you used to be before you lost your central piece. It’s a part of you, and it always will be. You’re malleable. And so, we gain a greater understanding of ourselves. With hope and a portion of luck, we could find something that is even a small portion of our previous central piece.
Concluding Remarks
There are few situations in life tougher than losing that central piece. Be patient with yourself. You’ll likely face some tough conversations with yourself and some tougher days. If you have even a slither of hope that tomorrow will be better than today, know that you’ll eventually reach the end of the tunnel and emerge from the other side, even if the light seems dim.