The Introvert
I spent most of my teenage years into early adulthood thinking being introverted was a flaw of my personality. I struggled in large groups often opting to remain on the outskirts, rather than within the chaos of a fast-paced group.
The definition in basic terms of an introvert is someone who becomes more energized when they are alone.
It was until I studied the different personalities of different people that I came to understand how being an introvert can be a strength. It’s not all positive but being an introvert can be your superpower. Here’s how.
Strengths of Introverts
1) Deep Thinking – Introverts reflect much more in general than introverts. This means introverts often explore themselves and life on a deeper level than others.
2) Good at Listening – This also involves picking up on the subtle differences between people around us as introverts take in information in a more structured, careful way.
3) Strong Focus – Introverts often have strong focus due to not being as stimulated by potential distractions as extroverts are.
4) Self-Motivated – An introvert’s self-motivation can often come from not needing as much validation from others, be this through peer pressure or societal expectations.
5) Empathy – Introverts can often relate to and understand how different people are feeling at a specific period of time. The deep-thinking characteristic of introverts could be helpful in this characteristic.
6) Creativity – Another consequence of deeper thinking is stronger creativity and imagination. By considering many viewpoints and creating original solutions, introverts’ creativity often shines through.
7) Problem-Solving – Introverts are analytical, and I’m not sure about other introverts, but I consider every possible scenario in any situation I find myself in. That way fewer things surprise me. Introverts can locate the root causes of problems and address these effectively.
Weaknesses of Introverts
As I said, it's not all positive. If as introverts we are aware of these weaknesses, we can often limit their prevalence and work to reduce the impact they have on our lives. Here are some examples of potential weaknesses.
1) Networking – As I discussed at the start of the piece, introverts often struggle with large group social environments. Introverts prefer to stick to the same group of people they’re comfortable with or spend time alone.
2) Expressing Themselves – In busier social environments, extroverts shine. Introverts can often be intimidated by this, struggle to get their points across and feel overshadowed by more confident, louder people.
3) Avoiding Conflict – Conflict isn’t a comfortable situation for introverts, who usually prefer to keep the peace. Being assertive can be difficult and sometimes introverts avoid conflict even if it goes against their values and principles.
4) Overthinking – The deep-thinking characteristic of introverts is a double-edged sword. Sometimes the thinking can get too deep, and introverts are more likely to worry too much about things. This can make them indecisive or struggle to act.
5) Alone Time – To recharge their batteries, introverts need time alone. Otherwise, they can feel overwhelmed and drained. This means introverts need to set boundaries with others.
6) Perfectionism – Introverts often have high expectations for themselves. By overthinking, they consider every detail. This can often stop introverts from acting, or delay taking action to improve something that is already great.
7) Adapting to Change – I love my schedule and structure. If anything interrupts an introvert’s schedule it can make them nervous. To counter this, I have negotiable and non-negotiable tasks. A podcast I listened to today discussed doing the best you can. Perhaps the higher standards introverts hold themselves to are too high and unrealistic to achieve. So cut yourself some slack and be patient with change. Give yourself time to adapt.
Strategies for Introverts to Become More Extroverted
For us to grow, we need to work on our weaknesses. If any of these weaknesses jump out to you as weaknesses you might have, then you might want to work on making them less prevalent. Here are some strategies I’ve come across:
1) Seek Discomfort – Discomfort allows us to grow. And we often discover as Seneca said, that “we worry more in imagination than reality.” So go to that event or that party or push yourself to try something new. If you become too overwhelmed or you seek out your discomfort and realise that whatever event you find yourself at isn’t for you, then I give you permission to leave. Tell anybody who asks that I said you could leave.
2) Use Your Strength of Reflecting – As introverts we look deeper into ourselves and others. In the last few years, I’ve started reflecting on my life under different topics. I reflect on my wins in life and how I can repeat them. I look into my failures and how I can learn from them to hopefully not repeat them. I explore what’s worrying me, what I’m fearful about, and why. If I’m overthinking something, perhaps that’s something that is making me uncomfortable, and I should seek that out to develop and grow. And once we’ve reflected on a particular event or day, return to that reflection after a period of time. Look back on it and see if you felt that in the moment or if it's still bothering you now. If it's still bothering you, further reflection could be required. And be patient with yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and managing your relationship with yourself is a difficult thing. So be patient and cut yourself some slack.
3) Reward Yourself – If you approach discomfort in your life or achieve a win reward yourself! If we associate positive emotions with rewards when we seek discomfort, we are more likely to form habits or behaviours that can help us improve.
4) Leverage Your Love of Schedules and Routines – If you don’t like change, you shouldn’t be scared of change as it's inevitable. So to not be scared of change we should accept it on our own timelines and not avoid it. Over time as things change in our lives we will become more comfortable with it. But if we have schedules and routines that we enjoy then we won’t want things to change through unsatisfying lives. However, remember that some aspects of our schedules and routines aren’t as productive as we think. We need to recognise that any aspect of your routine is changeable.
5) Just Hit Publish – As introverts often try to perfect everything, a strategy I’ve used is to hit publish after a certain time frame. If I’m still writing a blog after a certain time, I’ll stop writing and organise the piece and hit publish. In any endeavour, it’s a long process to improve your craft. This involves ups and downs. Sometimes it's better to hit publish even if it's not your best work. Consistency above everything.
6) How To Approach Conflict – I like the principle of giving people one chance, but never two. Introverts who resist conflict could be more prone to tolerating relationships that are damaging to them. Through reflection, be aware of any relationships that incur more negatives than positives. Don’t forget to reflect inwards and consider your own role in these damaging relationships.
7) You Can Create The Environment Where You Feel Comfortable Expressing Yourself – Introverts often have smaller social circles, but this can contribute to deeper relationships. Through deeper relationships, we feel more comfortable. If we feel more comfortable we can be more open with these people. You can completely curate the environment in which you feel comfortable sharing with others. If you don’t want to look people in the eye, sit back-to-back with them so you still feel close.
8) Love Your Alone Time. But Surround Yourself With People Who You Love Spending Time With More – If you surround yourself with people you love, feel comfortable with, and who understand you, then as an introvert you’ll be more inclined to want to spend time with them. As I said earlier, introverts often build deeper relationships. If you find these, keep hold of them.