The Imposter Syndrome
“The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before.” – Albert Einstein
I recently added to the description of Something Greater, “lessons and reminders to myself, from myself.” I’m adhering to that statement and today I'm writing about something I’m struggling with.
Imposter syndrome is the inability to believe we deserve the success we gain, or that we can’t believe success has been achieved legitimately as a result of effort and skill. It's one of the most dream-crushing aspects of life.
It makes you feel uncomfortable, like a fraud. That one day, everyone will see that you don’t know what you’re doing (quick note, nobody does!).
Imposter syndrome can hence change the direction of our lives if we listen to it. It can limit us from doing things we truly enjoy and excel in. So how can we get over it?
It’s Your Life
Something clicked inside my head yesterday. I laid out multiple pieces of paper with everything I want to pursue in life being the title of its own individual sheet. Ray Dalio’s Pure Alpha strategy if anybody has heard of it. If you have 15 different income streams, one can completely collapse and the other 14 hold you up.
As I looked down at these sheets scattered along the floor, I realised this is my life, not anybody else’s life. If we all took 15 sheets and wrote down 15 aspects of our lives that we wish to develop, would any two people write exactly the same? While as a writer it's wonderful to have people who read what you write, this is for me. Even as a human in general, my 15 sheets are unique to me.
I write for clarity. To get my thoughts on the page. To push myself to do something that two years ago I’d have never imagined doing. Sometimes, to beat imposter syndrome, reflect inwards, not outwards. If you’re currently feeling in a rut, consider how what you’re doing is benefitting you outside of the expectations you have of yourself and the success you wish you had. If you’re in a job where you’re waiting for the company to realise their mistake, consider what you get out of the job. You’ll completely shift your attitude towards your work, and naturally perform better as a result.
Take Your Time
Success takes time. It's never a linear equation. There are always turning points that mark the beginning and ending of peaks and troughs.
So be patient but firm with yourself. If you’re putting something off, don’t reward yourself. Don’t punish yourself either of course, but illicit positive rewards with positive progress. Buy yourself that treat you’ve been wanting once you’ve pushed yourself outside your comfort zone. Through this rewarding structure, you can implement, you’ll be more likely to repeat positive behaviours without thought. Just as another aspect of your daily schedule, like making your bed, or brushing your teeth.
If we reflect inwards and push through to what we want to achieve, it can often come naturally that those with an interest in your field discover your work. Our work can grow outwards. But that shouldn’t change that whatever you’re pursuing is for you. And that’s not selfish! Outside advice can help guide our future direction, but we can also constantly overthink, as I have, about the direction in which we’re taking our work.
What if I change too much and people leave?
What if this success that I don’t think I deserve anyway suddenly realises that and vanishes overnight?
Who cares if it does? Do you enjoy what you do? If you look over a long-term view of months or years, how far have you come personally? Delay gratification. With anything, it takes time. Don’t expect results overnight and be happy with your overall direction. Don’t buckle under the expectations of society, or family, or wish you fit in more. Be different! Escape the slow crawl of life, jumping from one major life goal to the next.
Even if you have stopped growing, look at the people who are there with you. We all know people who seem to have thousands of friends. They’re the most popular kids at school. But in the end, it's deeper relationships with a few who truly understand us that are more beneficial to our well-being. Seek these connections with those with similar pursuits to you. I guarantee they’ll have felt imposter syndrome at some point.
Back To Basics
Also, remember the basics that you’re really good at. Are you a go-getter who’s rarely scared of trying something new regardless of what others think? Are you great at using data to reinforce your points? Do you tell wonderful stories? Consider the one thing that comes so naturally to you and build on that.
Are you a perfectionist? It’s natural that imposter syndrome arises in your life. We struggle for help and never believe we’ve created the perfect piece of work. So we over-edit. We stress every little detail. One way we can break this cycle of imposter syndrome is to just press publish. For writers, we actually press publish. But if you’re pursuing anything else, find your version of “publish”. Sometimes you’ll post something that isn’t your best work. And sometimes, without even realising it, you will. How can we ever know if we don’t publish? If you’re sweating every detail, I’d honestly recommend just hitting publish. Even if there are sections you haven’t edited. Over time, you’ll get better at the editing. But if you stop, you’ll never get to that stage. Just hit publish!
No Arbitrary Targets
Finally, we can set arbitrary targets and goals for ourselves. “I want 1,000 readers by this date”. “I want to run 10km in this time, by this date”. “I want to finish this piece of art by Friday.”
While setting goals can be good for monitoring long-term progress, in the short term, I’ve found they hinder me. They cause greater stress and disappointment if I don’t achieve the often unrealistic targets I set myself. Plus life gets in the way! I mentioned earlier about cultivating our schedules so productive tasks almost become as natural as brushing your teeth. But you don’t always brush your teeth at the same time exactly every day, right? Give yourself and your schedule flexibility, and don’t feel bad if there are certain aspects you don’t achieve today. Try again tomorrow!
Concluding Remarks
Imposter syndrome comes naturally as we push ourselves and seek out discomfort to better develop and grow. When it pops up, recognise it. Tell yourself, “I see you, imposter syndrome.” Trust in your long-term progress and whatever you’re pursuing, do it for yourself!
Sources:
· https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2013/11/fraud
· https://www.happierhuman.com/quotes-about-being-different/
· https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-is-imposter-syndrome-and-how-to-avoid-it