Every day, without even knowing it sometimes, we’re all playing games.
We play social games in our relationships. People can try to maintain a perfect image on social media, and as a prize they build superficial relationships they stress about maintaining.
We play power games in our workplaces. Gossip or undermining others to climb the corporate ladder leads to short term gains, but disadvantages long term trust and reputation.
We play economic games in managing our resources. Spending money and incurring greater debt to distract yourself and adhere to societal expectations leads to financial stress and life dissatisfaction.
We play ethical games as we determine right from wrong. Lie to get ahead and this success will be scarred with a guilty conscience.
Finally, we play games of survival, hoping we can wake up tomorrow, and continue to play the games of life. If we overwork ourselves, we can suffer burnout and even health problems.
An exciting aspect of games, is on occasion, play a game and you win a prize. These games above are examples of undesirable prizes that can be pursued in life. Without knowing, we can blindly accept these prizes as natural consequences of games we have to play in life. In a more promising note, we can always choose what games we play, and hence what prizes we pursue.
Hence, we have to question what games we’re playing. If we blindly play, first of all, we might find little success. Secondly, if we play stupid games, we find stupid prizes. Who wants a £5 stuffed animal when you paid £10 to play? In this event, and many other real life games, the risk and reward aren’t balanced.
Balancing Risk and Reward
In life, the games we play sometimes require deeper analysis, especially if we sense they are impacting us negatively.
We can establish a risk-reward analysis. What are the potential rewards in this game and what are the potential risks? Do the rewards outweigh the risks, or the risks outweighs the rewards?
If the risks outweigh the rewards, question deeper if this is a game you want to play. We can diversify these risks. If we play multiple games, we spread the risk. However, be aware of spreading yourself too thin. Otherwise you might not win any prizes at all.
In a short summary, we have to consider opportunity cost. This is what we give up to pursue a prize in a game. It’s important here that we weigh up what we have to give up. Do we truly want the prize of this game given the things we have to sacrifice to play the game?
This is something I’d recommend considering, but keeping in the back of your mind. On occasion, the logical analysis of your own life as a series of games removes the emotion from life. It removes spontaneity, and the potential that comes with it. It can also damage the good games we play in life. For example, I have a principle to give people a second chance, but never a third if they wrong me. If I enforced this logically, without considering emotion, context, and the level of wrongdoing, I’d have no friends. Forgiveness, trust, and empathy are more important than logic here.
There is one use of this framework that I believe is of great benefit. The games we play in pursuit of our dreams - the ultimate prize.
If somebody tells you your dream is unrealistic, ask them if that thing exists in the world. If it does, there’s nothing realistic about your dreams at all. If it doesn’t exist in the world, perhaps you’re playing a new game. With new games come new prizes, and you could be the first to discover them.
In most games, to stand out, you sometimes have to break the rules. An alternative to this is playing new games. These are difficult to discover, but if you do, you shape the rules. In this case, you’ve discovered your game of life. Any visionary and innovator in history did this, and we can too.
Sticking to the safe path seems logical. However, the emotional satisfaction from pursuing a dream, no matter how uncertain, can lead to fulfillment. No natter the risk, this sounds like a game worth playing and a prize worth pursuing.
Sources:
chatgpt.com
This was a great reflection - have you read Finite and Infinite Games by James P Carse? He talks about these kind of complex social games in a very interesting way - I think you might enjoy it!