The Art of Self-Reflection
I'll start this week's piece with two questions.
Do you know yourself?
More importantly, do you like yourself?
I’ve struggled with both in the past. I’m a natural people pleaser, and so I would put others above myself. I lived a life in which I changed who I was to attempt to please or impress others. But like trying to hold water in a sieve, I saw most of what made me the person I am slipping away. We trade in our own personal satisfaction and happiness in a futile attempt to give others what we cannot give ourselves, hoping they’ll do the same in return.
It took me a long time to realise this doesn’t come through others. It comes through yourself. Now I’m glad to say I know myself much better. It’s difficult to fully understand yourself, we’re all rather complex individuals. But trying at all to understand myself, has brought more satisfaction and happiness to my life.
By trying to impress others, you build shallow relationships between others and a version of yourself that isn’t true. This unnaturally picked away at me, as I saw relationships weaken, and decay, built on a cracked foundation. I found the opposite idea to be true. By being true to ourselves, and understanding ourselves, we actually build deeper relationships with those who we’re meant to have in our lives versus those we try to keep by impressing. Those people who understand themselves too and understand that the relationships they build are a part of their life but aren’t their entire life will naturally attract one another. Without these relationships, life goes on. But having someone in your corner who accepts you, for you, is a wonderful thing and if you find it, keep hold of it, just not if it means losing yourself. Self-acceptance is a prerequisite to having anybody else accept you.
It’s from this idea that comes my second question. Do you like yourself? Learning to like yourself takes longer, and it’s a consequence of understanding and accepting yourself.
Both of these elements require deep self-reflection. If I had to sum it up in one term, what this brought me was self-awareness I’d never considered in the past. I think I became more authentic and decisive. I learned back myself, and to accept myself just as I am.
How can we get there in life? Come back next week for 25 methods that have helped me on a rather long journey.
25! Wow looking forward to next week