The Never Know
We don’t know where it’s leading, but it can’t hurt to try, right?
I listened to a podcast a few days ago, and one quote just hit me.
“You can’t force spontaneity”.
I found it to be incredibly, frustratingly, true. One of life’s paradoxes. If you’re trying to create spontaneity, it comes across as forced, and because of some voodoo magic, you seemingly achieve the opposite. Upon the request for spontaneity, the concept itself has been squandered, drifting away to return at an undefined time.
Let’s look at some principles of forced spontaneity.
Preparation or Authenticity - When preparing for any event, how much are you preparing every minute and how much are you leaving to chance?
Routine - Does your routine cover every second of every day, so you have no free time?
Expect The Unexpected - If you see a potential opportunity arise where you don’t know what the next hour, two hours, or day could bring, do you reject the idea or pursue it?
Norms and Spontaneity - Countless norms in life limit us, whether it be out of fear of rejection, criticism or ridicule. It can be societal norms that limit the potential for spontaneity, often providing rigid structures and predictable frameworks for a variety of social situations. This is why Martin’s advice to spice up your coffee experience at Starbucks by giving a fake name is one that we should take up! Who knows where it could go?
Even if it doesn’t go anywhere, don’t you feel great for rejecting those norms? Cognitive dissonance is a huge part of this. It occurs when people feel their actions and beliefs are conflicting. What we should do is be aware of the existence of cognitive dissonance, but not let it limit us, especially when it comes to adhering to norms.
We’ve discussed ways that we can unknowingly limit spontaneity in our own lives. How can we ensure spontaneity remains as it should be, not forced, but surprising us from time to time?
Life Doesn’t Happen To You, It Happens For You - We can sometimes be victims of our own cynicism. Life is happening for us, we’re in the position to make the most of it through the things we can control, such as our opinions, decisions, and attitudes.
Cultivate Flexibility - Be open to letting plans change, and adapt to these new situations as they arise.
Embrace Uncertainty - Not everything has to be planned. Try to wing it every so often. Perhaps not a serious situation, but assess where in life you could embrace uncertainty in a situation with limited downside.
Limit Overplanning - Leave gaps in your schedule. If you’re not, you’re giving spontaneity no opportunity to emerge at all. Balance your routine carefully with tasks and free time.
Are Some Impulses Good? - We can be susceptible to overthinking. I certainly know I am, and it’s why you’re reading this right now! It can be of benefit to us if we don’t overthink certain situations, and we just take a jump. If you want to take a walk, go for it!
Surround Yourself With Fun People - Being around people who embrace uncertainty and allow flexibility to emerge naturally are more likely to follow you into the realm of spontaneity. But even if you don’t have people around you, encourage a certain playfulness within yourself. How can you explore and enjoy this current moment in fun ways that are different from usual?
How can you use some of these strategies in your life to just let whatever will be, simply be? I’m a big supporter of a routine. It encourages productiveness if we’re not cultivating busyness for the sake of it.
Still, we need some aspects of our life that are free-flowing. It’s often in these moments that we find the most magic. The exciting thing is we never know when it could come next, but we have to create the opportunity for spontaneity.
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